A Healthy Gulf? Enough is Enough…
April 1st, 2008by Tom Huff
Regional Vice President, Big Tex Energy Corporation
Alright – I’ve been on this e-agitation list long enough to figure out what’s really going on. I first joined up to send an e-mail to rebuild the coast in the wake of Katrina and Rita, but these healthy gulfers are doing a lot more than that! Please don’t support the Gulf Restoration Network!
It’s all well and good to rebuild Louisiana, Mississippi and the marsh (especially if Big Tex Energy doesn’t have to spend our own capital to make it happen), but in the past few months these tree-huggers at healthygulf.org have gone too far.
They’ve posted films arguing that oil companies should pay to fix the coast, just because scientists think our canals and pipelines played a big role screwing it up. They’ve beaten back our energy projects, just because they were going to kill a few million fish. Not only have they linked big storms like Katrina to global warming (global whining, I say), they’ve gone so far as to say that energy corporations should be doing more to fight it.
Enough is enough. Putting some of my company’s vast resources to use, I’ve gotten our tech team to hack their Website so I can speak directly to the rest of the hoodwinked public on this list.
They’re asking people to be one of their ‘fifty friends for a Healthy Gulf.’ DON’T DO IT!
This type of response just encourages them, and will only help them make more trouble for me, and my friends with Shell, ExxonMobil, and the rest of the ‘record prices and record profits’ club.
It’s the first day of April – so they’ll be gearing up to find their 50 supporters for the month to help them restore the coast, fight the dead zone, rebuild fish populations, blah, blah, blah.
So go ahead and unsubscribe, now that I’ve clued you in to their hidden agenda. Whatever you do, don’t become one of April’s 50 friends.
P.S. I’m too busy running Big Tex to send e-mails every month to warn you off this heroic-sounding cause, so whatever you do, DON’T make your donation a ‘reoccurring’ donation, so I have to take time away from building pipelines through the marsh to ask again.
The Gulf Restoration Network is a diverse network of local, regional, and national groups and individuals (some with a sense of humor, some not-so-much) dedicated to protecting and restoring the valuable resources of the Gulf of Mexico. Don’t worry, the GRN will not sell or share your information, and we’ll always try to keep bad corporate actors from hacking our site.
Don’t visit the group’s Website at HealthyGulf.Org.
Tags: New Orleans Blogs
April 1st, 2008 at 11:46 am
I wonder what it is about blogs that results in so much April Foolery. I think I will spend the rest of today’s blog time petting my 95 pound puppy.
April 1st, 2008 at 12:03 pm
I was just thinking to myself last night that it is too bad the days of the April Fool’s student newspaper are over. In my day, even the Crimson White at Alabama would put out an April Fool’s Day issue, complete with fake, satire stories like The Onion.
That practice went the way of the Dodo bird over the past 25 years as the news “business” became a corporate, PR enterprise. And that’s too bad.
In Bush’s world, we need all the humor we can get our hands on – to prevent mass suicide.
Me, I’m planting a garden so we will have something to eat this summer when gas prices reach $5 a gallon and food prices go through the roof.
But not to worry. I’m also working on another update on the Bush Justice Department’s continued Tom Foolery with the court system in Alabama. So there is serious news dead ahead…
April 1st, 2008 at 1:24 pm
We got most of our garden in Saturday morning, it is raining on it today which is a good sign.
I enjoy being taken in by a good April Fool joke but there were so many very obvious ones this morning that I did not get to let my guard down.